I laid in bed one night with a million and one loud thoughts racing through my mind (I often do a lot of introspection and reflecting of my life at nights…I mean, who doesn’t?). Over the past year I found myself in a situation that I knew I was able to handle because of my personality and the state of mind I was in at that time; however it wasn’t a situation that was good for me. I’ve come to the realization that just because you can handle something that most people can’t doesn’t necessarily mean it’s good  or right for you. I felt a sense of “coolness” because I was able to validate a claim that many females and males make time after time, but in reality isn’t true for them. From a relationship standpoint i’ve learned that just because I can handle a dysfunctional, yet socially accepted and revered relationship doesn’t mean that it’s right for me to entertain one. I deserve better than that, and I’m very aware of that. But because getting what I really wanted and deserved was becoming too tedious of a task, I resorted to taking less because I figured it would require less of me (It actually didn’t, but that’s a whole different story). 

I’m learning to take my learning experiences from one aspect of my life and make it applicable to other areas (Shout out to maturity!) . So for this lesson i’ve learned ,in a general sense, that just because something is easy,  available, accessible or convenient for you doesn’t mean it is right for you. Just because you can handle something many others can’t handle and wish they could handle, doesn’t mean it’s yours for the handling. In a nutshell, just because you can manage the burden doesn’t mean you should take it upon yourself, especially if it’s just to prove the point that you can handle it and others can’t. Because at the end of the day a sistah or brotha like you gon’ need a chiropractor (and unnecessarily might I add). So save yourself the backache…Most of us smart people know when something fits us, but isn’t suitable for us. It’s like that outfit that comes in your size, but looks horrible on you. It takes maturity to realize this truth AND more importantly accept it….because many of us still see that tummy flab that dress is showing and think “well i can always buy a pair of spanks” and still walk to the cashier and buy it. No, if it doesn’t look good at first glance stop looking thrice trying to convince yourself it does or will, because 9/10 times it won’t. 

I am enjoying the clarity life experiences bring, and the maturity it helps to cultivate. My desire is not just to have people learn from my experiences/mistakes, but to help them realize that it’s ok to have and make their own as long as they take something valuable from them, because that’s really what it’s all about.

With Love&Wisdom,

Wisdom

After all i’ve been through, put up with, I feel as though I deserve to be the brat i’ve always tried to avoid being in my “relationships” with men. I’m not being overbearing or a b*tch as some like to classify it as…I just don’t see the point in holding back my annoyance at something that a person does, is doing, or has done. I’m not wasting my time easing my complaints with “lols” figuratively and literally speaking. For once I just want to be free of trying so hard not to be “that girl..” that girl that men complain so much about putting up with, but what i’ve come to realize is most of them still do. So why should i be wasting my precious time trying to conceal my human emotions of annoyance, anger, disappointment?…because men certainly don’t have the common courtesy to return the favor. Bottom line is I want to be a brat, and I want to get away with it. And two brats can’t cater to each other’s needs…so something/someone’s gotta give, and it certainly aint me. Pardon me while I go through my Donell Jones “Where I Wanna Be” phase…I got my share of baggage and i’m sorting through it before I completely dispose of it…I just need time, and that’s ok.